Most men live in the “culturescape” without realizing it. After all, a fish is the last one to see it’s in a fishbowl. Men are directly defined by factors such as “Culturescape” mentality aka. Social conformity, associations/influences, etc. These factors are determining our values, character, present, and future. It only takes a few universal phrases to realize its power. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” or “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are”, we could go on and on but the influences of these aspects of our lives are apparent. Men live by “shoulds” and Modern Man Advice for once is sick of it. We advocate for bending and breaking the rules that are causing us to not live the life we dream of.
“If you can’t win, change the rules. If you can’t change the rules, ignore them.” Peter Diamandis
After having deep conversations with amazing men around the world we realized: We need to go back to the drawing board and reset our reality. Transcend the culturescape, embrace our beautiful imperfections and discover our individuality.
Here is to be unfuckwithable and start being visionaries!
The Culturescape Trap: Breaking The Rules
A fish is indeed the last to know it lives in a fishbowl if it ever gets to know that is. And it is not so different from us. To most of us, that ignorance is bliss and the bubbles of our reality feel like well… safe and familiar. Change is uncomfortable and sometimes quite painful. This is why only a few dare to push boundaries, but the reward and legacy are invaluable and immeasurable. K. Graham, E. Earhart, M. Angelou, R. Branson, N. Tesla, A. Einstein, E. Musk, etc, etc, we can go on and on. These are only a few names of the thousands throughout history that bent and broke the rules of the culturescape trap. They transcended the “shoulds” and replace them with “what if” and “what lies beyond the naked eye”.
The culturescape trap impacts us all. Unless you were born in a remote and untouched area of planet Earth or outside planet Earth you are part of this trap. We want you to know and realize that it is not your fault, nor your parents, it is simply the result of the process men had to go through to develop. However, it is finally catching up with us and holding us back significantly. We still blindly follow the same old and outdated rules and belief systems our forefathers established. And the keyword here is: blindly.
We simply do not question these rules and belief systems. How dangerous and detrimental is that for us men? To read more on this specific topic, we highly recommend “The Code of The Extraordinary Mind” by Vishen Lakhiani.
Is Social Conformity Stealing Our Individuality?
Who we surround ourselves with is painfully who we ultimately become. The power of association is extremely important. And do not be fooled that it is all positive and constructive, it can also go the other way and be negative and detrimental.
How often do we see the typical fraternity scene? A bunch of “men” doing what men are “born” to do. We bump our chest to see who the louder and more “alpha” is out of the group. Even if this means going against your morals, ideals, and values. Even if it means going against who we are deep down. It feels wrong, and we know it’s wrong but we still go through it. Men simply do not want to be outcasted and be socially “different”.
But what is wrong with this picture? Well so, so much.
The reason behind losing our individuality and having a strong sense of worth and value is falling on the culturescape trap. Most men are not upholding themselves high. At the very bottom of this is a lack of true self-confidence, self-love, and understanding of who we are. Sometimes breaking the rules is necessary.
The Beauty In Our Imperfections
Oh, but what beautiful imperfect beings we are, especially us men. That is just our nature and yes, there is beauty in that. Embracing it is, in fact, beginning to take the road to true self-confidence and self-love. More importantly, putting down your ego and having the awareness of your flaws is the only path to substantial personal growth and ultimately success.
Just as a failure, we see imperfections as locked doors where demons live. But it is quite the opposite, they are doors to possibilities and success. When we face ourselves in the mirror we might see obstacles and challenges, but the next time we do, see possibilities instead. That is the key to growth, finding the beauty in our imperfections. We all want to be happy and successful but we don’t want to put in the effort, work, and discipline it takes to achieve them. Often this leads to bending and breaking the rules that confine us.
Needless to say, there is no such thing as perfection, and life, in general, is a never-ending growth process. Hence, why our motto is Walk Your Own Path.
Are We The Continuation Of The Problem?
We see our fathers as heroes, at least most of us do. In reality, they are not quite the heroes and quite frankly as or even more imperfect than ourselves. They hold and carry on flaws that go back to various generations behind. And in case, you didn’t realize it you have inherited those flaws and imperfections. In case, you missed it, here is an article we published on the mold we come from and its implications.
You are in fact the recipient of the what-happens-when-we-live-in-the-culturescape award passed down by previous generations of men.
Plus, I mean who wants to disappoint our fathers. They expect us to follow their path and behave a certain way. They teach us that we “should” follow the rules and breaking the rules is wrong. If we don’t follow their advice we feel like we dishonored them and are on our way to being disinherited from all that baggage they’ve carried their entire lives. Now please do not get us wrong, we love our fathers. They do the best they can with what they have and after all, they themselves have learned it from their fathers. But does that mean you “should” carry on the torch of a false sense of superiority, lack of emotional intelligence, stress, and bitterness towards life, violence towards women, etc, etc.?
We beg to differ. The change starts with YOU. Create your OWN legacy.
Be The Change And Let Our Sons Be The Solution To The Problem
The first step towards change does, in fact, start with you but true and sustainable change lives in the next generation that sees us as role models. Telling your kid “men don’t cry” or “take it like a man” is passing that torch that you know deep down is isolating you. Emotions are not weaknesses.
Think outcome-focused and let’s set our sons with amazing tools to change and make an impact in society.