Are you going through a rough patch? Is life becoming increasingly difficult and frustrating? If yes, then maybe it’s time to look within and get behind the wheel. We are responsible for our actions, and until we learn what, how, and where we went wrong; progress will remain unattainable. This article highlights the importance of self-reflection on the road to fulfillment.
Everyone, from every corner of the world, craves just one thing: Motivation. It doesn’t really matter what your goals in life are, without the required motivation, there cannot be progress. Therefore, it’s super important to have some type of motivational influence if you ever plan to achieve something truly fulfilling. But while people search for this fleeting piece of inspiration in the strangest places, our strongest motivator lies within.
Resentment is a key human motivation. It is a great teacher; listening to your resentment is the best thing you can do. What does resentment mean? Depending on how you view it, resentment could mean one of two things: “Shut the hell up, grow up, quit whining and get on with it” OR someone is playing the tyrant to you; might even be you.
Deep down within our subconscious, we know everything we need to make a change. This is why resentment is so critical because it shows a pathway to achieving that. However, failure to address this feeling of bitter anger can have you feeling resentful for a long time. Truth is, no one wants to be around a resentful person; why, because then, your motivations become warped in a web of negativity and ill-will.
So, the first step to growing the fuck up is battling your resentment.
How to Treat Your Own Resentment
Let’s go back in time a bit; to a period of great resentment. Solzhenitsyn, soviet writer and author of the book, The Gulag Archipelago, contributed to the disintegration of the brutal Soviet Union regime. In Solzhenitsyn’s words, one man who stopped lying could bring down the tyranny. Okay, why is this relevant?
You see, Solzhenitsyn had a rough life. After soldering on the Russian front at the beginning of World War II, he was assigned to the Gulag camps. As you know, the Gulag camps were testing grounds for mass prison labor—a nasty place. And Solzhenitsyn was at the center of it all, having spent 8 years in this camp. At first, he blamed Hitler and Stalin for the mess he was in. But one day, he meditated on his stay there and discovered that he was a contributor to this gory encampment.
So what did he do? He tackled his resentment, took responsibility, and exposed the horror of the Soviet prison labor camps. There is a lot to unpack here, but one thing is clear. To move past resentment, you have to confess your wrongdoings; repent; do your penance, and then completely change your approach to life. Many times, we create our own sufferings, living ignorantly of the mistakes that led us to the predicament that we’re in. The moment we grow up and take accountability, we grow as individuals and move in the right direction.
Taking Control of Your Life
There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who blame the world for their life’s situation and those who get behind the wheel of their life. The problem with blaming the world is that it is pretty convenient; it’s easier to pin your shortcomings on others than on yourself. But the thing is, we all live on a moving rock harboring billions of people; do you, for a second, really think, your problems are justifiable on a worldwide status; definitely not.
Exactly; whatever sufferings you must be enduring, you must have, somehow, contributed to it. Only you can set it right, but you must choose to learn and make the right choices. If your life isn’t going the way it is; that’s an impetus to self-reflect. By asking yourself this question, “Have I really done everything I possibly could to set my life straight?” you gain a new level of awareness. Because if there are things you are not doing, that’s a motivator to actually go do them.
Humility As A Motivator
A big problem we humans face today is that we rely, too much, on the strength of our intelligence. It is as though we are slaves to our limited intellect, overthinking even the most simple situations. But with humility, you subconsciously say to yourself, o“What I don’t know is more important than what I know.” This is true because do we truly know anything in this spinning world of ice and water.
You see, people are really defensive about what they know, but the truth is, you don’t know enough. And the way to tell; is to realize that your life isn’t what you expect it to be. Also, life is just the same for the people around you; relatively unfulfilling. What that means is that you should keep an open mind to third-party intuition. In other words, if someone tells you what you’re doing wrong, you better be thankful for their insights.
Because by listening to people’s advice, they’ll tell you amazing things. Many of these things then become tools that you can equip in your success toolkit. This brings the humility element down to a basis: Do you want to be right or do you want to be learning? You can’t have both; however, leaning on the latter end of the spectrum gets you much closer to humility, and eventually, fulfillment.
It’s a deep choice; and one you have to make for yourself. It’s much better to live as a self-transforming hero than a self-entitled King blinded by pseudo-superiority. The more you listen to people, the more you’ll learn a lot about them; the mistakes they’ve made, and the solutions they work towards.
The Importance of Having Conversations
The way to take responsibility and charge of your life; is to live in the present moment. And the best way to force this reality is to have conscious discussions with other people. This is one of the reasons many people feel better after a therapy session. By conversing with a good listener, you gain a deeper insight into your subconscious, which is the bank of our deepest motivations and feelings.
On the other hand, if you rely on your thoughts, you cage yourself in this limited frame of mind. But by having someone to talk to, to share these thoughts with, you receive a great foil for your thoughts.
Through constant conversations with people you love and trust, you inadvertently receive a tether to life as it is; and can frame your very reality in the way that it should be.
Living in the moment is the ultimate goal of life. So, get up, grow the f*** up and get winning.
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