Our mission is to add value with the goal to offer a resource and guidelines to past, present, and future generations of men. Our purpose is simple: Raise the modern man standard and redefine modern masculinity. With this goal in mind, we have written various articles that can provide a new perspective and fresh air on what men’s etiquette is in modern society. We want to break norms, push boundaries, challenge men with one single purpose: Men’s true role and image in modern society.
Now, we want you to take a moment and commit to this before continuing on reading: Will you be an advocate for these 5 pillars? The reason why we ask that is simple: We don’t want to waste your time. If being the best version of yourself, reaching success, and living a fulfilled life is not something you are passionate about and deeply believe in then it is best you close this window. Any true change and growth is born and grows from within. Modern Man Advice merely acts as a knowledge resource for those looking to raise the bar.
The 5 pillars we are about to discuss are highly dependent on each other. The order of these 5 pillars has a purpose as the next one cannot exist without mastering the previous one first.
Confidence. Confidence. Confidence. No one will believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself. More importantly, no one should be a bigger fan of you than yourself. However, confidence starts with self-love. Self-love is so important in building these 6 pillars that will shape you into a modern distinguished gentleman. Confidence and self-love are intricately interconnected. Not quite the same but also not far from being the H 2 the O. See what we did there? Clever, right? If it went over your heads, that’s okay. But what do we mean by how confidence and self-love are intricately interconnected?
Self-love triggers confidence. And there is no true confidence with self-love. If you want to take a deep dive into confidence then please feel free to read our article here. Self-love starts in first recognizing and then accepting both our strengths and weaknesses. It also means that we need to embrace both our imperfections and individualities. It then becomes a driving factor in challenging ourselves to grow where is where confidence takes over. With confidence comes our ability to push our boundaries which is the only road to growth.
This entails a specific mindset. And if you have read about the one driving factor behind the success: It is a mindset.
This entitles respect towards yourself and others. It should be equally applied to who you are as a man and everything else around you. The ladder entails other’s perspectives, preferences, thoughts, lifestyles, etc, as well as other living beings. Respect must be applied outwards as much as inwards for it to hold weight. Unfortunately, this is one of the less noticeable and overlooked characteristics of men’s etiquette but nevertheless one of the most important. Let’s start with self-respect. Respect who you are, trust your intuition and worth. This means being able to gracefully give yourself a leveled place in any situation. Both at a social or individual level. Truly believe in what you deserve which ultimately depends on confidence and therefore self-love. This is why we listed confidence first.
Again, the order of these pillars has a purpose. It is important to notate, that respect does not mean you must place yourself on a pedestal and higher than everybody else.
It also does not mean that you necessarily come first. Respect is completely a two-way street. And with that in mind, respect towards others equips you with a conscious understanding of what respect means. More importantly, it adds value to the respect you get back from others. And just as confidence, why would somebody respect you if you don’t respect them back? And likewise, why would somebody respect you if you don’t respect yourself first.
A modern man cannot exist without integrity. We hear it all the time. Perhaps, so much it has lost some of its meaning and true significance. It refers to a “firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values”. That is sticking to your non-negotiable values regardless of being publicly acknowledged or not. Therefore, you live, breathe, and are strongly rooted in moral and ethical codes. It is a deep sense of honesty with oneself. Integrity is one of those masculine pillars that are as palpable as confidence itself. It transpired through every pore of your being.
There is something very elegant, eloquent, and timeless about a man that can place himself at a high standard. Dignity transpires when a man can effectively know his worth and can push his inner boundaries of what he deserves. And like respect, it has a symbiotic social effect. But unlike respect, dignity (as well as gracefulness below) is quite noticeable. It is a mental state consisted of various elements both mentioned and not mentioned above. These are:
- A sense of being worthy of respect, honor, love, and good things in general
- An in-depth feeling of pride in oneself
- Body language that proposes earnestness and self-control
Surprisingly the use of the term dignity has been in decline since the 1800s. We believe this is just simply unacceptable and unfortunate. Everyone, not just us men, should carry themselves with a deep sense of dignity. As for men, the decline in dignity is so noticeable that we must bring it back to its good ol’ days. Dignity entails your ability to carry yourself in a way that transpires and indirectly calls for respect. It is also an ability to listen and be constructive in your judgment.
Luckily for you, we have extensively covered this topic and you can read about it in more detail here. In summary, abundance, as it pertains to a pillar for men’s etiquette, is a mindset. Often mistaken for quality instead of quantity. Meaning, abundance is not a large quantity of something but rather a life full of quality. In this sense, it is important that we as men not only have a life of our own full of dreams, passions, hobbies, adventures, friendship, love, etc but that we translate that into a constant mindset.
As discussed in our The Abundance Mindset article, abundance occurs from living an abundant life. Effectively, letting life happen to you and not letting life happen to you. Notice we emphasize “from” and “to” in that sentence. The reason is that it is a mindset that triggers a lifestyle aligned with your values, passions, interests, skills, etc. Again, if you would like to read more on this specific pillar, feel free to read it here.
Oh, what a man would be with a little cherry on top called gracefulness? Every one of these 6 pillars is as equally important as the next. But there is something about gracefulness that seems to hover each of them like a guarding angel. This is naturally more apparent in women as it is in nature for their existence to hover over the earth. They are after all mothers and there is something very powerful in that. But without getting off track, gracefulness can be equally applied to men. Especially, as it encompasses and unifies all the 6 pillars together.
Gracefulness not only unifies all pillars together but empowers them even further. But the beauty of it lies in the subtleties where it transpires out. And in this sense, a graceful man can always carry himself with confidence, respect, dignity, and abundance without missing a beat.
Men’s etiquette: Our 6 Pillars
With that, we have presented our 6 pillars for men’s etiquette. Please let us know in the comments sections your thoughts and opinions. What are your 6 pillars of men’s etiquette? What differentiates a man from a distinguished gentleman.
Modern Man Advice