When men scroll through social media, we often find ourselves mesmerized by the flashy images of beautiful women. Mostly toxic women. We often sit back and imagine what it would be like to date such women, fantasizing about their bodies and whatnot. Many men, who do this, tend to glorify the body of a woman over the mind.
This is where men get it wrong. This is why many men find themselves in unfulfilling relationships.
Media and society have encouraged some women to act entitled to a man’s attention, wealth, and energy. And a man who should be setting the standards in a relationship often puts up with narcissistic women who care about nothing else but their own gratification. If you are one such man, who tolerates that type of behavior and mindset because of what they offer sexually, you should know; you’re wasting your time.
How to Identify Toxic Women
Go on; scroll through your Instagram feed, and especially TikTok, and you’ll find numerous women displaying their own childishness and unapologetically slandering and ridiculing men. This is super relatable; we’ve all seen captions like, ‘That man ain’t right for you if he can’t put up with your attitude’ etc. It’s just a one-sided statement most times, but these statements say a lot about these women in general. And coincidentally, most of which we see on platforms like TikTok that act as a virtual and public diary.
Statements like these show the traits of a toxic woman; a woman who feels entitled to love, care, money and respect without ever adding value to a relationship. Or even worse thinking they have something of value to provide when in reality they do not.
Set Your Standards To Avoid Toxic Women
Beginning to recognize toxic women starts with the standards you choose and the values you present to that woman. See, it is common for a man to be super nice to a woman he’s interested in; to take her on lovely dates; buy her gifts, etc. At the same time, it’s common for a woman to just receive these beautiful things without reciprocating the gesture. Why? Because if a man doesn’t, surely the next one will.
That, men, is the first sign of a toxic woman. And so, you have to lay down the marker and ask her this: “What Do You Bring to The Table?” or “What will I gain from committing to this relationship?”. Perhaps not verbatim but indirectly over time.
This question really unsettles women, because not many men ask this. Some women are used to the adoration they receive from numerous men, and so they really just play along because it suits them. The moment you ask this question, a toxic woman may feel unsettled. In fact, that woman may evade the question altogether, because she is already used to being treated like a baby—loved unconditionally without question.
As Chris Rock so eloquently stated: “Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provides something”.
IMPORTANT: Remember this goes both ways. Do not expect a quality woman if you have nothing to offer and you, yourself, are not high value. You attract what you are.
What Exactly Should A Woman Bring to Relationship?
Usually, when you ask a woman what she brings to the table, she replies with stuff like, “I’m loyal.” Well, that’s basic and a given. If she says, “I’m a good listener; I’m fun to be with …” then chances are, she really has nothing more to offer. If she’s really narcissistic, she’ll withdraw sex, right after you ask this question, just to play the victim. These are the traits of a toxic woman.
As a man, you have values that define you. Your time and mental health are more important than anything. You really don’t want to waste your time hanging around toxic women. So if you have to let go of that beautiful woman with an entitled attitude, by all means, you should.
Men deserve better. So as some women deserve better than putting up with narcissistic men in the past. It simply goes both ways. In a nutshell, a good woman should be able to provide you with these things:
Do you know that most divorces are initiated by women? We hate to mention it but Johnny Depp’s situation with his ex-wife is a good example of a toxic relationship. Or even worse Will Smith’s situation. Because if you’re out there grinding and being competitive, the last thing you want is to come home to a woman who nags you to sleep. Your woman should be your safe haven and comforter in hard times. Anything else is just not up to standard. Period.
Cooperation and Consistency
Ideally, in a relationship, there are pillars like trust, loyalty, etc. But in a healthy relationship, there are two individuals focusing on their own personal growth and goals. Subsequently bringing that to the table to share and effectively complement each others’ individuality and goals.
This means having a reliable partner that while walking her own path, can support yours and vice-versa. Someone that can uplift you and cooperate, not hinder and stop your progress.
Submission & Great Sex
There is nothing more sustainable in a relationship than a non-negotiated and genuine desire for one another. Unfortunately, some women are used to the idea of using sex as a means of control. So, if she withholds sex as a manipulation tactic, this is simply not a woman you want to be with. You deserve a woman who desires you, emotionally and physically, not because she needs something, but because she genuinely wants and appreciates being with you. Sex and genuine desire should absolutely not be negotiated. Remember, women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships.
While not the norm, some women feel so entitled to their man’s wealth that they see him as a credit card they can swipe endlessly. Commonly referred to as Sugar Daddies. The bad part is, the only thing in return that you might get is sex. And sex isn’t everything. If you’re a man working your hats off to provide for your woman, you deserve some gratitude. She has to be willing to step up and make an equal effort for the relationship. Things like planning dates and activities or even life goals with you. This is a sign of a quality woman that genuinely values you and is worth fighting for and committing to.
Some women today believe they don’t have to fight or make an equal effort to build and maintain a relationship. They often see it as too much of a hassle and the man’s job. Why, because they have options—‘simps’ drooling over their DMs. Weak men are willing to bypass self-respect and standards for sex. If your woman jumps ship at the first sight of conflict and doesn’t even make attempts to reconcile, chances are she isn’t very committed to your relationship.
Summary | Avoiding Toxic Women
A good woman should treat your relationship as a joint venture, not a safety net to exploit you. She should share the risks of the relationship and support you in your time of need. And vice-versa. A relationship takes work and a mutual effort. It should never be one-sided.
Remember, you should set the standards and the frame of the relationship. You lead. If a woman does not match your values and vice-versa there is really no point in committing to one another. A woman who is right for you will acknowledge your efforts in her life, both emotionally and financially; and will make compromises to make your relationship work.
A quality woman will uplift you, toxic women will tear you down.
Check out our The Biggest Problem With Men Today piece to bring it full circle.
If you, or anyone you know, is experiencing domestic abuse please report it to the pertaining authorities and seek professional help. For more info please visit The Domestic Violence Hotline.
Modern Man Advice